ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Randomize
