oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
I have feelings that need drinking.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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