8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Randomize
