erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
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Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
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My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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