Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
i already hear my dad disowning me
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
Randomize
