I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Everclear isn't food dammit
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
Randomize
