My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
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