singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
Randomize
