My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Randomize
