I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Randomize
