babies were throwing up all over the place
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
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