just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Shame - the story of my life.
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