take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Randomize
