I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
