I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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