is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
