There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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