he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize