Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Randomize
