How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
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