so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Randomize
