we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
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