She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Such a big mess for such a small penis
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
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