Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
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