you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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