i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
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