This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
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