I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
She bit a glass in half.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
