she kept yelling 'call me bella'
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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