please come you make the beer taste better
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
Randomize
