she looked like the bat from fern gully.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
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THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
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It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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