just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
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