You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
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