That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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