The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
Randomize
