there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Randomize
