To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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