My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
