There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
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Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
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Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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