i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Randomize
