"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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