I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
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