Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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