Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
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