How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
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