oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
Randomize
