Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Randomize
