that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
