I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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