Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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