walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
