I think I died a long time ago.
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
17 year olds will be the death of me.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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