He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
My vagina is officially offended.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Randomize
