What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
There's even glitter on my cock...
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