we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
It was like giving head to a cactus.
I'm sobbing to NWA
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
