she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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