pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
organizing the empties. That sober.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
