We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
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