Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Randomize
