I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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