I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
I still have a little drunk in my system
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
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