is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
Randomize
