I'm drive I can fine osifer
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
