So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize
