when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
