anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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